The Lobsters in the Walls

careful with mom's glasses
she has a bad cold
and if she doesn't wear them
she won't be able to see the lobsters in the walls
they will come out from their secret doors
and crack all her bones with their claws
and scoop the insides out with the thin spoons
that only lobsters can use

the little bottles beside her bed
are so that she can shake them at the lobsters
and lobsters are so scared of rattlesnakes
that they will drop their spoons and run
and the house will echo with the sound
of little legs clicking and tripping
and a thousand tiny spoons
tumbling down the stairs

the men in white coats are lobster scientists
they are going to build an ocean
in our basement and a tiny moon
on top of the water heater
so that we can have tides
and then all the lobsters will come out of the walls
and live there with jellyfish umbrellas
and wear whatever fish is most fashionable
that's when the lobster scientists send in the divers
with lobster guns

a red octopus took her hair to eat it
under his porch in the ocean
because that is all that red octopuses eat
but first he probably rolled around in it
because it reminded him of seaweed
and his red babies who are all gone now
it was probably that octopus who told the lobsters
where we live and drew a map
octopuses are very good at maps

dad only cries sometimes
because mom hasn't been making food
and he hasn't had hardly anything to eat
also he doesn't like her hats
even though the green one is really pretty
and maybe he is scared of the lobsters too

stop holding mom's glasses so tight
you're going to break them
and you are getting tears on them
you don't have to worry about it
because if you hear any lobsters in the walls
just cover your ears and look away
lobsters hate to be ignored
that is their only weakness


So, I just finished my essay and wrote a bunch of drivel to celebrate. This one was my favourite of the bunch.