Cheers

The loneliest man in the world
Penned these silly words one night.
He’s just one step to the left of center
And a quarter million miles to the right.

Yon tripfinger fox-hearted god
Hath mischief’d upon that which he didst create.
Some silly sod has installed the wrong driver—
This device cannot communicate.

And though he spoons with his IQ at night,
And his imagination sweetly speaks discourse,
All around best friends seem to happen,
Just not to him, of course.

Nor can true love truly
(Neither to nor from).
Your strange arms cannot reach him.
You’d easier reach the sun.

Thus are the complaints of some odd animal.

There’s a lesson in this, I think.
That since you cannot save him,
For fucking fuck’s sake, just buy him a drink.


This is why I hate happy movies. I will never love anyone like that, no one will ever love me like, and I will never win 20 million rupees on a game show. I'm serious about the last line, though. Secret Training #2, 2009.